Best Mutual Fund – The Funny Money Show

The Funny Money Show is a lighter take on the investment world, the products and the investors. This time I explore staring a new mutual fund with my FunnyBone. She is just back from here months’ long sleep to give us some respite with her humour (sometimes dark).

Here we go. (Opening music for effect)

Me: Hey FunnyBone! Good to see you. Long time!

FunnyBone: I am not happy to see you. Why don’t you just let me sleep peacefully?

Anyways, what did I miss?

Me: Quite a bit. SEBI has tightened screws on MFs. Standard names, choice universe, total return benchmarks and more. Less of the old time masti.

FunnyBone: (yawns) That’s all fine. Tell me about the loophole. I trust they have left one for sure. 

Me: You are turning wise FunnyBone. There is indeed one. Closed ended funds are exempt from this screw tightening.

Fund houses are launching closed ended funds left, right and centre. There is an ACE Fund, a Resurgent Fund, a Housing Fund.

FunnyBone: I told you. After all, what’s life without some new fun(d)?   (grins)

Me: Hey FunnyBone, I need to take your advice.

FunnyBone: Today is a big day. You taking advice from me! Go ahead.

Me: I want to start a mutual fund. A low cost mutual fund – truly serving the investor.

FunnyBone: A mutual fund……for the investor?  (she kept a straight face.)  Who does that?

Me: I know. I know. But we will.

Tell me, what should I name it?

FunnyBone: (looking at the Electricity bill on the table) Call it the BEST Mutual Fund.

Me: Are you serious? This is not a Electricity Supply company.

FunnyBone: (now looking up at the fan) You are anyways going to give them a shock!

Me: Come on, be serious Funnybone!

FunnyBone: Isn’t that too much of an expectation? (frown)

But you see the name has merits. You can kill many birds with one stone.

Me: And how exactly?

FunnyBone: Look at what most investors search on Google. They search for “best tax saving fund to invest, best equity mutual fund”, etc. etc.

And not just that they area also telling you the name of your scheme …

• Best Equity Fund
• Best Liquid Fund
• Best Tax saving Fund
• Best Abracadabra Fund

You have to invest zilch on any marketing. You save money and keep costs low.

Me: This is brilliant FunnyBone. You are a genius.

FunnyBone: (looks sideways and then speaks in a mocking tone) It takes one to see another.

And remember, keep your funds closed ended. Just add the year to a scheme name – Best Equity Fund 2018, then 2019 and so on.

You will get them in droves. (winks) Else, they won’t even look at you.

Me: Oh second thoughts – what if they confuse it with the Mumbai local bus service.

FunnyBone: (there he proves his genius) Brilliant you! I hope they never discover you are taking them for a ride.

Me: Come on FunnyBone, get serious!

FunnyBone: I better get some more sleep. (getting up and looking at me as she walked) The world is more dangerous than before.

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By the way, are you looking for the Best Mutual fund?